I really have no complaints, i mean i can complain how i can’t find a decent side bar picture and that i’m single for life. But those aren’t worthy of complaining about. I haven’t written in a while and after I take my driving classes online i will get back into that. I really have some good ideas for new stories, or i can fit it into the two im writing about. If you guys wanna read them, they’re on my blog c: I think writing is the best thing ever. You can take and idea, belief, dream, or memory and write about it. I love it and think it’s beautiful. One day i want to be a famous Novelist and have my books become movie. I also want to act, but who am i kidding? A 16 year old from a little town in California who is 5’0? Yeahhh rightttttttt. But a person can dream c:
Excuse my retardness.
So today I was talking to Alyssa about my ex and i don’t know i just began to wonder and think just a little about to the past. Sometimes i think “what if” this and that, but even though i probably will never get over him, I moved on. Of course we’re still friends. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when he talks about his new girlfriend, but i’m not going to complain. I’m not going to be selfish or an ex psycho girlfriend. He was a big part of my life but i seriously need to find someone new. My other ex Michael, he was so nice to me it was absurd. But once we stared making out he got.. i don’t know the word.. aggressive? I didn’t like it cause he’d choke me and i didn’t want it to be “Gate Way Abuse” for him. I still cared for him and believed he was a good person but if he’s gunna start doing that shit, i’m not the one he’s going to do it to. I have interesting ex’s i know. But the point is, i need to let things go and be free with myself. Hopefully start hanging around people that make me feel wanted. Who knows what the future brings. Not me.
Just fuck you and your fucking fake ass personality. I hope you die miserable and alone. You know why you can’t have a decent relationship? It’s because you think you’re too good for people when it’s the other way around. Oh then you decided to “try” to steal the guy i was in love with, but he just shut you down cause your a nasty bitch. Now you are alone, and i laugh cause since you fucked up my life, karma got yours.
So today my ex boyfriend and I have been talking recently, nothing too serious, just catching up on a few things. Anyways, it was nice up until he brought up how he missed me and still loved me and what not. Of course i still have feelings for him, i’ll always have feelings for him. But he moved away, he doesn’t understand he hurt me physically before. He knows i still care about him, but I’m scared i’ll hurt his heart or he’ll hurt my body. But anyways, he got all mad at me cause i said i didn’t want to be in a relationship and that it wasn’t him it was me (old excuse but it’s true) he told me that i was a horrible girlfriend and that every time i hurt him, that i was going to die alone and never have anyone that love me like him. I didn’t even over react. It’s true. I was and am a horrible person. I suck at relationships. There is no hope for me in them. But that doesn’t mean i’m just gunna “yolo” it and fuck every guy i see. Honestly i’m not that type of person. Maybe in time i can learn to love, trust, care for, and be a great girlfriend.